Breaking the pattern of delusion.
People are funny. As someone who has worked with audiences and individuals for years, I have – on more than one occasion – asked the following two questions:
1. What results would you like to see in your life that you’re currently not seeing?
2. What stops you from experiencing those results?
Think about your own life. Aren't you, at times, also confronted by a list of things you want to do or a type of person you’d like to be and the cold, hard fact that - no matter what the reason - you're not that person yet nor have you achieved "those things?"
When I ask an audience why they don't have those things, they usually give me a list of reasons:
- Not enough money
- No time/Too busy
- Don’t feel like doing it/Lazy
- Lack of knowledge
- Spouse (blame)
Of course, one of the most dangerous in the list is procrastination. For, with that, we deceive ourselves. We'll get to it tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. And more often than not, tomorrow never comes. The road to “Some day” leads to a town called “Never.”
Actually, there is one reason listed that, in my opinion, is worst of all. It's when we say "I'm working on it."
But why that one?
"If I'm working on it, isn't that a good thing?"
Of course! But for about 99% of all people, "I'm working on it" is essentially procrastination in sheep's clothing.
Does this sound familiar?
- I don't like my financial situation and money is scarce ... but what can I do? I'm working on it.
- I feel fat ... and eating right and working out is tough especially with my schedule, what can I do? I'm working on it.
I’ve often called the “I’m working on it” pattern, the Delusional Pattern because people delude themselves into thinking that they are, in fact, working on it, when really… they’re not. However, we love to say it because it acts like a drug we can take in order to dull the pain of facing the hard – and often painful - fact that we're NOT really working on it after all.
Some may be working on it but at such a snail’s pace that seeing the result in this life is unlikely.
It also can act like an emotional credit card, of sorts. We "swipe" it to “buy” ourselves more time to feel better about where we're currently at. The problem is, we'll have to pay that bill later. How do we pay, you ask? With months and years NOT accomplishing what we want, not seeing results, and not living the life of our dreams.
How many times have we said "I'm working on it" only to buy ourselves another few moments, a few days, weeks, months and sometimes years of NOT doing it? We talk, talk, talk, talk ... and we never do. And if we "do," it's so miniscule that - at that rate - we'll still be working on it 50 years from now.
I don't know about you but I'm sick of buying myself more time that I don't have, wasting years I’ll never get back.
If you don't do it now, when will you do it?
You know when most people go for marriage counseling? When it's too late. You've heard of the person that goes to the doctor and the doctor says, "Look, unless you lose weight, get in shape, stop smoking, drinking, partying ... you're going to die." What normally has to happen before that person makes the change??? They get sick or have a heart attack.
My question for you ... for me ... is how sick do you need to get before you do something about it? How bad does your situation need to become before you stop deluding yourself with “I’m working on it” and actually do it?
- How long do you want to continue struggling financially?
- How many more pounds do you need to gain?
- How many more wrinkles and appearances of aging need to take place when you look in the mirror?
- How many more relationships will end in blame?
When will you reach the point when you say "enough is enough" and DECIDE to do something about it?
When will you decide to give up “working on it” and just do it?
When would NOW be a good time?